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- What To Do If You're Feeling Lost
The McLetter
November 25, 2023
Have you ever felt lost?
Like no idea where you're going.
You know you have to move forward. But you’re not sure which direction to go.
This one's for you.
The Wrong Direction
Imagine you’re in a race. There’s a finish line in some undisclosed location. The gun goes off...
Where do you start running?
North? South? East? West? Maybe you need to go up or down.
How do you know which direction you're supposed to go?
If this were a 100m dash in the Olympics, it would be very clear where you needed to go.
Can you imagine if you started running the wrong way? People would look at you funny. They’d start screaming “You’re going the wrong way!!!” You would seem crazy… It's common sense to run towards the finish line.
But life is a bit more complicated. You don’t always know which direction to go. The finish line isn't clear. The problem is if you don’t know where to go - you might not move.
You might be paralyzed by fear. Fear of making the wrong choice.
Imagine if the finish line was East.
You start heading West. You are now moving in the exact opposite direction. This might seem counterproductive. But I'd argue it's a correct choice.
If you go North or South, you might also never hit the finish line. Yet again, I'd argue it's a correct choice.
Last, you might choose not to move at all. In this case, you will never hit the finish line. I'd argue this is an incorrect choice.
Not moving. Not making a decision. Is moving. It is a decision. It’s the wrong decision. It’s the wrong direction.
The Right Direction
In the case of our Eastward located finish line… moving West, North or South is better than not moving at all. At least you are learning the territory.
Let's suppose you start moving West. You go 10 miles West and decide you no longer want to move in that direction. So you go North. Another 10 miles North and you decide you no longer want to go in that direction. So you go East. 10 miles East. Stop. Now you’re moving South. Another 10 miles and you’re back where you started.
But wait!!! You’ve made no progress!!!
Or did you?
Imagine it’s like Minecraft. In this scenario, who's map looks better?
Option A: The Steve who traveled 40 miles in a square.
Or
Option B: The Steve who did not move at all.
If you chose Option A, then you and I are on the same page.
You see, the guy who didn't move at all was afraid of moving in the wrong direction.
But so was the guy who just walked 40 miles.
Yet, he overcame his fear. He embraced a potential wrong decision. This gave him more knowledge than the guy who didn’t move at all.
Not to mention, what did that guy overcome to explore 40 miles of the map? He had to trek across mountains, knock out a few skeletons and build himself a temporary shelter (to keep to our Minecraft analogy).
He grew as a person during his exploration of the territory.
That's what it's about.
It's not about crossing the finish line. It's about exploring the territory and creating your map.
You want to find out what's out there. Find the place you call home.
Create your own finish line.
You might explore the entire map and decide that where you started was the finish line.
Yet, you wouldn't know that unless you explored in the first place.
Life is moreso about crossing items off the list, rather than finding the right direction on your first try.
No matter where you go - it's going to be hard. So find the hard place that you love.
"Your blessing in life is when you find the torture you're comfortable with" - Jerry Seinfeld.
How To Start The Race
1) Find Your Starting Line
Your starting line is where you are right now. Not where you were yesterday, or where you are in 10 days, or in 1 year. Where you are, Right Now.
All you have is this present moment to act. So figure out some things you would like to try. Just like you won't know where the finish line is in our imaginary race, you won't know where the finish line is in your life.
You have to start to moving in that direction, even if it's the wrong one.
2) Follow Someone Else’s Footsteps
Chances are: there are people who have run a similar type of race you are hoping to run. Follow in their footsteps.
What did they do to get to where they are? Do they have certain degrees? Do they recommend going to college? Do they have certifications?
Find out exactly what they did to get to where they are and retrace their steps. Now take their steps. Feel free to avoid their pitfalls.
Bonus points if you manage to find and talk to them.
3) Move Slowly
"Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished." - Lao Tzu
There is absolutely no reason to move fast. This is not a 100m dash. Your not lining up against Usain Bolt here. You have your entire life. This isn’t a reason against moving. It’s a another way to move.
Your purpose is your purpose. You will find it as long as you move.
If you move in the wrong direction, you'll feel it. Something will pull you in another direction. So go then. Follow that. Trust your heart and let it guide you.
4) Keep Track Of Your Steps
This is equal to filling in your map. Remember our Minecraft analogy. You want the map to start filling in as you cover your spots.
I recommend keeping a journal. Start to note down all the places you have been and things you have tried. What did you like? What did you not like? What did you learn? What can you teach others? What will help future runners in their journeys?
We are all trying to find our way through this race. Myself included. I am moving through this race just like you. The only reason I have an idea of where I'm going is through keeping track of where I’ve been.
Unless you found the magical crystal ball that predicts the future then I hate to break it to you… The future is always uncertain.
Embrace it.
5) Enjoy The Game
The game is not meant to be finished. It's meant to be played forever… or at least as long you can.
This is the difference between Finite Games and Infinite Games.
Finite Games are played to win.
Infinite Games are played to keep playing.
The best games are played forever.
The moment you think you’ve won is the moment you’ve lost. You think you’re going to be on top forever. But that feeling doesn't last. Why do you think Tom Brady kept coming back even after his 5th, 6th and 7th ring?! It's because he knows it's not about the rings. They're nice, yeah. But it’s the love of the game that matters. Tom Brady fell in love with the process. He found his torture:
Wake up on Monday
Study film
Go to practice
Game plan for Sunday
Play on Sunday
Hopefully win on Sunday
Wake up on Monday
Repeat
This will be your life if you choose this path. In my opinion, there's no other way. If you want to live a life that provides your wife and your kids with joy - choose this path.
Most importantly, if you want to live a life that gives you joy, run race this way.
That’s it for this week’s edition of The McLetter.
Reply to this email with any questions, concerns, proclamations, etc.
As always - Let’s Get it Brother!
The very best,
Matt Mc
P.S. I'm looking for a few more athletes who want to Build Muscle, Increase Athleticism & Improve Mindset.
(1.5 hours required per week)
Click here for details: